Clever Comebacks for Bullying

Clever Comebacks for Bullying Behaviour

 

by Judy Arnall, BA, CCFE, DTM

As we are heading into back to school from Spring break season, children may encounter bullying situations. Often, children are at a loss of what words to use. Here is a quick guide of come-backs. Use them to write some more and you can practice with your child.

Think “self-talk”

“This kid has a real problem and I’m not going to let it be my problem.”
“I’m a good kid and I am not letting her win.”

Instead of being defensive, agree. It takes the wind out of the bully’s sails

“Yup! I’m the freckle queen!’
“Too many to count.”
“Yep, my glasses are geeky and they rock!”

Point out the obvious

“Why do you want to pick on a shrimp when that won’t prove anything about your strength?”
“I must be really important for you to give me this much attention!”
“Do you have anything better to do?”
“Guess it’s time to pick on me again. No one else smaller around?”
“Yep, if you can’t push yourself up, you want to pull me down, eh?”

Sometimes short and simple can deflate the emotional power of bully’s comments

“Brilliant”
“That’s creative.”
“You’re right.”
“Get a life”
“Whatever”

Try the direct approach

“That’s just mean.” And walk away
“That’s just lame.” And walk away
“Get a grip.” And walk away

Self-deprecating humour is a trick that stand-up comics (the victim) use against hecklers (the bully) and win over the audience members (the bystanders). It shows that you don’t take things seriously. This really deflates the bully’s power of control, because control has transferred to the victim.

“Big feet, big understanding!”

The bully says, “Are you ugly or just plain stupid?”
You can say:

• “Actually, both!”
• “Stupid is as stupid does”
• “Yep. So what?”
• “Yep, I’m so ugly that when I was born, they put tinted windows in my incubator!”

One of the best lessons they can learn this school year is how to say “no” to their peers, or even adults that don’t always have their best interests in mind. Here are some quick come-backs that parents can role-play with their kids in order to say “no” to actions they don’t want to do.

10 Ways kids can say ‘No!’ to peers wanting to bully

Ask questions – “What if such and such happens?”
Give it a name – “That’s bullying! No way.”
Refer to the parent – “Nope. My Mom won’t let me.”
Get an ally – “No, Jason and I are going to Switchbox instead.”
Suggest an alternative – “Why don’t we play Xbox at my house?”
State consequences – “I want a career in law enforcement and don’t need bullying on my record.”
Stall – “Hmmmmm…maybe later.”
Offer an excuse – “I have to go and meet someone.”
Say “No” another way – “I can’t.” “I don’t feel like it today.” No explanation needed.
Make a joke – “Yeah, wouldn’t that look great on YouTube!”
If all else fails – ignore, act busy, or just walk away.

More Video Help for Bullying:

How to Get Ready for a New School Year

Crafts-132-1-220x170

Global TV

APT TV

Getting Ready for a New School Year

By Judy Arnall

The last days of summer are closing in and thoughts turn to the start of school when that yellow leaves appear on the neighborhood trees.  Parents often wonder how to smooth the transition from summer holidays to school.  Here are some tips to make a new school year successfully smoother:

  1. Don’t shop until the school supply list comes home.  It’s tempting to get a heads up on sales and deals, but if you buy the wrong item, your child will refuse to use it.
  2. When you shop, buy extras of the sale items.  Your child will lose things by Christmas or may want extra supplies for homework tasks at home.
  3. Get haircuts done early.  Most school photos are taken the first week and you want to avoid that just-cut look.
  4. Get the Doctor and Dentist appointments out of the way early.
  5. Photos! Don’t forget to measure and weigh your child or take a photo of them next to the same object every year.  You forget how quickly they grow.
  6. Move back bedtimes.  Change the lights out time 15 minutes per night for the two weeks before school.
  7. Pack away old school work.  Put in boxes and label.
  8. New grade.  New chores.  Celebrate the addition of another year and how capable your child has grown.
  9. The day before school officially opens, walk the halls with your child, get their timetable and map out the hallway and bathroom routes.

10.  Arrange play dates with new buddies.

11.  Draw up a homework contract.  Include stipulations that meet both your child’s and your needs and both of you can sign it.  Post on the wall for those inevitable whining moments.

12.  Separation Anxiety – handover or stay.  You must do whatever fits your parenting style.  You know your child best.

13.  After the initial sales, stock up on extra supplies, which can be marked down 80% by the end of September. Kids lose a lot of things.

14.  Clean up rooms at the end of August.  Pick up garbage, recycle old books, clothes and toys.  Assess whether new furniture needs to be purchased.

Judy Arnall is a Professional international award-winning Parenting Speaker, and Trainer, Mom of five children, and author of the best-selling, “Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery” She specializes in “Parenting the Digital Generationwww.professionalparenting.ca  (403) 714-6766  jarnall@shaw.ca

Copyright permission granted for “reproduction without permission” of this article in whole or part, if the above credit is included in its entirety.

Gearing Up for September